Comments on: Decoding American Break-Up Strategy, by Matt Shirley

By: Jordy

Jordy — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 22:36:10 +0000

For the record, I went with a variation of The Confusion. I executed it pretty well, and if need be, I think I left open a window for knob-reslobbing.

By: Jordy

Jordy — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 18:45:18 +0000

Truth: I’m consulting this piece as I consider the necessity of my own break-up.

Thanks, Matt.

By: toddmon

toddmon — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 19:56:48 +0000

Used the let’s be friends line on the advice of a friend. Not a fatty, had to say it, a girl during my mid 20s and it seemed to warrant a proper break up so I did it on the phone. At this point in my life, I was accustomed to just not calling anymore as the break up so I solicited the advice of said friend Aaron. He said just tell her you should be friends. I liked that play. Sounded nice, easy, and did not make me sound like a dick. Then she asked, “what does that mean, friends?” Being not at all prepared for such a question I mumbled, “Aaron didn’t tell me that.” In hindsight, the best response would have been, “with benefits.”

By: corey

corey — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 20:46:05 +0000

this was both awesome and 100% accurate. nicely done.

By: farlz413

farlz413 — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:57:09 +0000

Truth Backhoe example: “I’m moving from Tennessee to New York and I don’t want you to come!” Translation: “I’m moving from Tennessee to New York and I don’t want you to come!”

sorry Matt, I had to steal your style for this one.

By: pshirley

pshirley — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:13:26 +0000

“University” gets me every time. I’m an easy mark.

By: Chet

Chet — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:52:48 +0000

Probably didn’t need to use my full and real name for that comment did I?

By: Chet Wydrzynski

Chet Wydrzynski — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:35:57 +0000

Once dumped a girl for the reason that she was moving out of town, just before her birthday and Christmas. If I didn’t break up with her I was going to have to buy 3 gifts in 2 weeks and there was no way she was worth that. So of course, I told her “it’s not you it’s me”.

She showed up at my family home two days later at 3 a.m. My mom answered the door. She announced to my mom she was on ’shrooms and said she wanted to see me to work things out.

The lesson: go out of town for university so that you don’t end up living with your parents in undergrad.