The following is the conclusion to my first FlipCollective piece, which delved into some of the peculiar characteristics unique to Los Angeles. That article can be found here.
Step-by-step instructions on how to ride a dog can be found here.
In LA, There Is In-N-Out Burger, and It Is Delicious.
I wanted to hate it, I really did. It was my Catcher in the Rye of fast food establishments. I said to myself, “Since everyone likes this so much, I really want it to be shitty.” My need for disliking In-N-Out grew upon entering the place. I found its attempt to replicate a 1950’s diner to be off-putting, all of the workers wandering around with these stupid paper hats on their heads, trying to convince me that after work they were going to go to the Friday night sock hop instead of exchanging the hamburgers they smuggled out in their cargo shorts for marijuana. And it killed me to find out that the whole company is run by Mormons. Mormons!—who rank just behind ‘NFL defensive ends’ and just ahead of ‘chickens’ on the list of groups whose intelligence I respect. But then I ordered a double-double. And then I sat down and ate that double-double. And then, even surrounded by this lunacy, all I could think was: goddamn they make a delicious hamburger.
In LA, Black People Ride Skateboards. And Occasionally Wear Sweater Vests.
Where I’m from, black people don’t ride skateboards. Black people also don’t wear sweater vests. White people ride skateboards and wear sweater vests. But I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen a young black male ride his skateboard home from Westchester High, or spied a black guy at a trendy bar, drinking a vodka tonic and sporting a sweater vest. I’m not sure why, but these sights are always disconcerting to me. I think it might be because, in the back of mind, I think that maybe everyone is playing a trick on me and that Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out at any moment with a gaggle of cameramen and start roughhousing with me like we are old friends. More likely, it’s because I’m not used to this kind of blatant breakage of stereotypes. I have no data to back this up, but I’m pretty sure that if a 17-year-old black kid were to don a sweater-vest and ride a skateboard to school in Kansas City, he would be physically assaulted on sight. Or at least be the subject of enough verbal abuse to prompt him to go home and change. But in LA, I haven’t witnessed even one (skateboarding related) assault. I don’t mean to make it seem like black people shouldn’t wear sweater vests and ride skateboards, I’m just saying that they do here, and that, to me, it’s weird.
In LA, There Are Eurasians.
When Californians find out I’m from Kansas, they often ask if living in LA results in culture shock. My answer is a staunch and defensive “no”—defensive probably because I want to fend off any ideas of small-town ignorance the questioner might be forming. Usually at this point, the person and I get into a tangential argument about Kansas City vs. LA, where I argue the side that every big city is pretty much the same, and she says that LA is inherently culturally unique. Eventually the person calls me a pompous ass, and I call her a dumb c-word, she cries, and we both go home feeling terrible about ourselves. But defensiveness aside, there is a bit of truth in the culture shock idea. In Kansas City we have black people and we have Mexicans. We even have our fair share of Africans. But the thing I noticed upon my arrival was, Jesus there are a lot of Eurasians in Los Angeles. Russians, Vietnamese, Indians, Bhutanese, Brits, Chinese, Iranians, Japanese, Germans, Afghanistan…ese? LA has them all. Kansas City, not so much. I think it’s a fair assessment to say that Kansas City has just enough Eurasians to fill all possible vacancies in the fields of “Chinese Food Restaurateur” and “Soccer Coach”. Not a Eurasian less, not a Eurasian more.
In LA, There’s a Bizzaro Little Ethiopia
Every time as I hit the Little Ethiopia sign on Fairfax Avenue, I expect to find a different world, where the streets suddenly turn to dirt and are crowded with bicycle traffic. In my vision, as I wait for the malnourished cows driven by similarly malnourished men to cross the street, a young boy in a brightly colored shirt taps on my window and shows me the notches he added to his Kill Belt during last night’s civil war. (I do realize that these are conflicting African cultures but I’ve never been there so my imagination wins.) But instead, Fairfax keeps on going, boringly paved, and I fail to see even one person of Ethiopian descent, little or otherwise.
One must admit that it is all a little confusing. It would be like if I started a city called Caucasiantown and then filled it with just piles of door knobs and Alaskan Malamutes. Then a sign, propped up by one of the piles, would say: “Caucasiantown: What? This is perfectly appropriate.”
It’s true that there are Ethiopian restaurants visible along this strip of Los Angeles real estate, but since I’ve had Ethiopian food before, I haven’t been in them to see if this is where all the Ethiopians are hiding.
In LA, They Are Behind the Times.
The Case:
Recently, I met a 24 year old girl who had never heard of Flipcup. You read that correctly: It’s not that she has never played Flipcup, it’s that she has never heard of Flipcup. This person, a California native, is not a social retard, or a devout Christian, or allergic to gluten. She went to college, likes to drink, and seems to enjoys socializing. Then how could this person have never heard of Flipcup, you ask? What in the hell is wrong with her, you exclaim? The only answer lies in geography. She’s only lived in California, and California is behind the times.
Granted, I’ve only given you one example—one person who hasn’t heard of one drinking game that people play all the time around the country. Well she also hadn’t heard of the drinking card game commonly known as Kings (or King’s cup, or Ring of Fire, or Circle of Death).
The Rebuttal(s):
Maybe people in California don’t like drinking games. Maybe they don’t have a Midwestern genetic predisposition for binge drinking.
But those are stupid things to say. Show me a person who doesn’t like drinking games, and I will show you a person who doesn’t like fun.
And I have more evidence: on three seperate occasions, I was told be three young Californians that they don’t have a Facebook account. Which is fine if they are anti-social-networking, my grandmother, or live in the year 1999. But none of these were the case. “No I don’t have Facebook,” they said, and then continued, unsure of themselves, “But I do have Myspace?” Myspace? Myspace?! I’m no sociologist but I think Myspace is currently about as relevant as the pilot episode of ‘Pimp My Ride.’ Having a Myspace account and not a Facebook account is like copulating with Barbara Bush while a willing Jessica Biel is sitting naked at your computer, 3 feet away, playing Farmville, on Facebook.
The Verdict:
I was right. Just like I always am. Case closed.
Tweet
What is this “Flipcup”? Flippy Cup, please.
Haaaaa. C-word. Why don’t you just write it out? I’m sure JaMarion & LaFanduh Shirley are quite aware of the fact that you are evil. Those are your parents new names because I can’t recall their real ones.
if you get to this point and haven’t followed the link to ‘how to ride a dog’, you really need to go back up and do so, because it is really really funny.
A few more things about the greatest restaurant ever…
1) The kids who work there are unfailingly polite and helpful; they could easily make the lateral move to a Disneyland restaurant. Of course, the expectations are higher at In’n'Out, as the salaries are much better than other fast food places.
2) If you ask for a 3×3 or 4×4, Animal Style, you will be in heaven. And fat. Which is sort of the same thing.
3) They do burgers, fries, and shakes/fountain drinks. That’s all. I guess if you specialize, you can be great. (You, for example, were a far superior 12th man to Winston Garland.)
My apologies, Matt. I thought Paul wrote this piece, though I’m sure you were also an excellent 12th man.
Does the fact that Facebook is a California-based company make the idea that Californians are “behind the times” in not supporting said California company (like good Kansans) more or less ironic?
Flip cup? Do you know that people stopped playing that roughly ten years ago? Are you also game for a rousing round of jacks, bobbing for apples, or pushing a wooden hoop around with a stick? Since you asked – are you positive it’s not 1999?
College boy here, from illinois. Its flippy cup, paul is right
ID – I like flippy cup better as well but I think its more commonly referred to as flipcup. Its like the beirut/beer pong debate.
Vern – I feel like you saying that flipcup is out of date lends even more support to my theory that californians are behind the times. They haven’t even heard of a game whose heyday was 10 years ago (according to you). But I don’t think I believe you; why would anyone ever stop playing a game that brings so much camaraderie to a party?
i’m against flipcup ever since the shirlfest where there were disgusting eating punishments handed out, such as losers have a spoonful of (insert disgusting mix of condiments)
My family went to Disneyland when I was, like, 12. They had this amazing drink called Crystal Pepsi. I forgot about it until a year later when it showed up in Kansas.
I’ve been waiting a long time for this revenge. Thank you, Matt Shirley. And thank you, Flippy Cup.
flipcup was prominently featured in the last always sunny in philadelphia episode. therefore it is relevant.
One southerner vote for ‘Flipcup’ and ‘Beer Pong’, none of this ‘Flippy Cup’ and ‘Beirut’ crap. Although an ex-pseudo-gf from Los Angeles kept saying ‘Beirut’ and confusing the hell out of me back in the day. What the fuck does the middle east have to do with drinking games?
I think my day has been ruined knowing the Mormon church gets my $6.28 each time I order the double-double meal. Damn.
If flip cups is good enough for the Always Sunny gang, it’s good enough for me. Flip, flip, flipadelphia!
Flip-flip-flip-adelphia!
My husband just ordered a Flipadelphia shirt online. That alone proves that Flipcup is not only still relevant, but pretty darn awesome.
voting for wisconsins college students Its flipcup and beer pong. say flippycup and i’ll probably laugh at you. say beirut and i’ll think about the band cause its awesome. i always liked the idea of calling it beirut but its beer pong and we all know it
College student from North Carolina/Kentucky seconding Flip Cup and Beer Pong. In fact I’ve never heard anyone call them Flippy Cup or Beirut. But then again the South is not exactly up-to-date either…
For the record it’s Flip Cup (Flippy?? really?) and Beer Pong, because what the hell does Beirut mean?? This is coming from someone who has a Southern genetic predisposition for binge drinking, and let’s be real honest here – could drink the Midwesterners under the table in drinking games.
Having visited El Lay recently… I’m surprised you didn’t have a list of peculiar aspects that went on for days…
from wikipedia: ‘The origin of the name “Beirut” is disputed. A 2004 op-ed article in the Daily Princetonian, the student newspaper at Princeton University, suggested that the name was coined at Bucknell University or Lehigh University around the time of the Lebanese Civil War, Beirut being the capital of Lebanon and scene of much fighting.[15] Others attribute the origin of Beirut to Lehigh, where fraternities allegedly started playing after all beer pong paddles were broken.[16] Some students at Lafayette College, rivals of Lehigh, insist modern, paddle-less beer pong was invented at their school, but The Lafayette, the college’s student newspaper, says there is no proof to back up the assertion.[17]‘
and from what i learned in beerfest (a movie that was written by guys who went to my school–coincidentally in the same league as all of the schools in the paragraph above) ‘beer pong’ is a game played with ping-pong paddles…which sounds super-lame.
I, too, live in Kansas City. I have two California friends. One has Myspace and refuses to even try Facebook. The other just got Facebook like 3 months ago (and his profile pic is from his wedding…LAME) and I don’t think he has been back on it ever since.
Mr. Matt Shirley: you, sir, are the man.
Moved from KC to LA myself, then back again. So I find these hilarious as they remind me of my own observations. Very amusing.
Thanks Hank and Dave.
the black people on skateboards things blew my mind…moved here from texas by way of nebraska…during the nba final LA-Boston NBA finals, there were a group of kids outside my place, all black, all trying new skateboard tricks…during game 1….what the hell is that about?
Beirut
Flippy Cup
…Flippy Collective?
What a hick.