Personal responsibility, like soccer and Nutella, isn’t really something that interests us Americans. Blaming others for our problems, on the other hand, is something we have really taken a liking to. When president Obama and his ever-popular promises of change took office, many thought that all of their problems would be solved—if only they voted for this confident, young-ish, black-ish new politician, life would get easier. They believed he would fix the economy, and end all of the world’s wars, and prevent global warming, and halt illegal whaling, and retrieve all of the kittens from all the tall trees without dropping one to smash on the sidewalk below. They treated him as a superhero—the second coming of Christ (or first coming of the black Christ)—someone who was put on this earth to make everything simpler. They gathered under a common banner with a slogan that embodied their helplessness and lack of personal responsibility. Three words, they said each time something went wrong:
Obama, do something.
That 13-year-old Indian girl can grow a better mustache than I can. Obama, do something.
My girlfriend won’t do anal. Obama, do something.
All my Farmville crops died! Obama, do something.
Those Muslims are practicing freedom of religion within 5 miles of ground zero, but it’s the wrong religion! Obama, do something.
The Black Eyed Peas are releasing another album. Obama, do something.
KFC is out of Double Downs! Obama, do something.
The World Cup sucked this year. Obama, do something.
The Situation is set to make 5 million dollars this year. Obama, do something
Man it’s windy at the beach. Obama, do something.
I just sexted my mom. Obama, do something.
I only have 7 followers. Obama, do something
This girl I’m making out with is a swamp beast. Obama, do something.
The Joker poisoned Gotham’s water supply! Obama, do something.
That nice white woman is still married to that adulterous black-ish golfer. Obama, do something. Oh wait, taken care of. Good job Obama!
These floods I keep seeing on the news are real buzz-kills. Obama, do something.
Healthcare reform? Obama, do something (else).
I think my son might be homosexual. Obama, do something.
Arizona police keep questioning my citizenship! Obama, haga algo.
My middle name is Muriel. Obama, do something.
Everything’s changing; I liked it the way it was! Obama, do something.
I think we can all agree that this tattoos-on-girls thing isn’t going well. Obama, do something.
I never spell the word ‘license’ correctly on the first try. Obama, do something.
Glenn Beck’s still alive. Obama, do something.
This diarrhea is no joke. Obama, do something.
I’m on a plane and this guy next to me has a funny name and is faintly brown. Obama, do something.
Eat, Pray, Love was nothing like the book! Obama, do something.
We are at this wedding and we ran out of wine. There’s a bunch of water though. Obama, do something.
We are almost out of pointless wars to fight! Obama, do something.
They canceled Lost! Obama, do something.
Even though you’ve done a lot more than the previous president, it still doesn’t fit my unrealistic and uninformed view of how the country should run. Obama, do something!!
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Good ones.
I should be reading my torts book, but instead I’m reading wildly entertaining articles on FlipCollective. Obama, do something.
I’ve noticed this way too often. I have nothing else to say except, wow, I agree so much.
Does doing more than the last president automatically make you a good president? I didn’t get that memo. Obama, do something!
He did add three times more to our little bit of a debt problem, so he’s light years ahead of old Bushy boy.
Wow, that was REALLY funny. I’m puzzled how you only managed to slip in an unnecessary race related jab 3 times. Come on, you’re little racist brain can do better than that, no?
*your
“Well, obviously I can’t address all of these problems. But I can fix two: Girlfriend won’t do anal? Got a gay son? I think you see where I’m going here…” —Obama
To paraphrase (bastardize?) John Wooden, “Don’t confuse doing something for accomplishment.” Obama’s biggest accomplishment is his blackishness.
I got in a car wreck a little while back and took my car to a mechanic to get everything fixed. I came back a week later, and all he’d done was change the oil and put some air in the tires. When I complained that he hadn’t fixed my car like I’d hired him to do, he responded that the car was broken when it came in to the shop and I should blame the person who hit me, because that’s why the car is busted. I tried explaining to him that I knew why the car was broken and who was at fault, and that I wasn’t there to assign blame, and that I had hired him to fix it and just want my car fixed. But again he just explained that he didn’t break it in the first place.
Also, this is a metaphor for Obama.
Hey BL1Y,
Was your car totaled beyond recognition and you figured you’d give the mechanic about two days to restore it to pristine condition even though a rival gang of part-makers continually refuse to work with your guy to give him what he needs?
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Love it. So true!
Non Partisan: If he was showing signs of moving in a better direction, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt, but it’s just more of the same. I think when he was running he actually thought he’d be a reformer, but he’s turned out to be too big of a wimp to get anything done.
Actually, my hope is that he stops doing things.
I just don’t think you can have it both ways. If Bush hadn’t fucked up the country as badly as he did, people wouldn’t be so impatient right now. That’s a fact.
And believe me, I’m not saying Obama hasn’t done anything wrong. He certainly has.
But nothing will truly change in this country until there’s a third party or some fix of this broken, corrupt system ruled by corporate greed.
So you can whine about Obama — and he can whine about Bush — all you want, but your next candidate won’t be any better as long as he or she has a D or an R next to his or her name.