My Top Ten Albums Of 2010, by Tom Dinard

My favorite time of year has arrived. The expert music critic in me jumps out and makes sure he has his say. And it’s a good thing, because I’m qualified, having listened to every album released in the entire world in the calendar year of 2010 at least twenty and as many as 362 times. In other words, all the other best-of-2010 lists you’ll find are bullshit. Nobody — except me — has put in close to half the time I’ve dedicated to the monumental and vital task of figuring out the ten best albums of 2010. Dig in.

10. Marnie Stern, Marnie Stern (Kill Rock Stars): People I know who know about her tell me that the woman can really shred on the guitar, and she once wrote a song about Shea Stadium, which means she likes the Mets, which means she needs some happiness in her life. Hopefully she’ll get it from being on my list.

9. Wavves, King of the Beach (Fat Possum): SPIN magazine wrote, “A backstory of prodigious weed intake, emotional meltdowns, and being the boyfriend (maybe even the “Boyfriend” boyfriend) of Best Coast’s Bethany Cosentino earned Wavves’ Nathan Williams as much chatter as his ingenious beach-punk tantrums.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. I originally had put them on the list just because it appeared that their band name was misspelled on purpose — like Def Leppard, but cooler.

8. Titus Andronicus, The Monitor (XL): This band has a very cool and unpretentious name, and the picture I saw of them shows that the lead guy has a really long and bushy beard. That means these guys should be taken seriously in indie rock. Also, Pitchfork loved this album so much that the guy who reviewed it, Rob Mitchum, used a curse word in the last line of his critique (he gave it an 8.7!): “Light it with footlights, throw a giant shadow against the back wall, and rock the fuck out of it.” Goose bumps.

7. Maximum Balloon, Maximum Balloon (DGC/Interscope): This might destroy my credibility, but I glanced over Rolling Stone’s Top 30 albums of 2010 while doing my research for this, and apparently this was the solo project of a guy from TV on the Radio, a band that always makes it into peoples’ Top 10 lists. The album also was described as “staggeringly groovy,” which is such staggeringly good writing that it deserves to be in my Top 10 list for 2010.

6. Steamy Naked Dove, The Garbage Plan (Rincon): Most music critics’ Top 10 lists have about seven or eight bands I’ve never heard of, so I’m putting one of those on my list. If you haven’t heard of this band, you need to scour the internet for everything they’ve ever recorded and buy it. Now. Before it’s out of print. “The Garbage Plan” takes lead singer Nik Nikkleson’s angst and ratchets it way up the … OK. The reason you’ve never heard of this band is because I just made them up. Well, actually, my buddies and I made them up in college in 1992. Sorry.

5.  Arcade Fire, The Suburbs (Merge): Gosh, I’ve meant to listen to these guys for a long time and haven’t gotten around to it. And then I did a freelance piece that mentioned this album getting nominated for a Grammy and meant to check it out again. For some reason I keep forgetting to listen to them. I will soon. I promise.

4. Sleigh Bells, Treats (N.E.E.T./Mom & Pop): They’re from Brooklyn, which scores huge points, and there are only two people in the band, which has been fucking cool for at least a decade after it wasn’t cool because of Simon and Garfunkel. Also, I saw a photo of them and they look pretty cool, too. They’re sitting in church pews, it looks like, and they’re wearing sunglasses and vacant expressions. It’s almost like they don’t even want to be at church, which would be awesome if it were true.

3. Kanye West, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (Def Jam/Roc-A-Fella): OK, I have a small admission to make. I haven’t listened to every album in the world in 2010 at least twenty and as many as 362 times. In fact, I haven’t listened to a lot of the albums that were released this year at all. This is one of them. I’ve never liked anything I’ve heard by Kanye West, so I see no reason to listen to this. But this album is making most of the critics’ lists, so if I’m going to be taken seriously as a music critic, I should include this on my list. And since most music critics rate hip-hop records higher than they should in fear of being viewed as racists, No. 3 seems like a perfect spot for it.

2. Janelle Monae, The ArchAndroid (Bad Boy/Wondaland Arts Society): Word has it she bends genres and does androgynous stuff, too. That must be pretty fuckin’ rad. Plus I’m a sucker for concept albums. If you ever happen to find my ATM card, you’ll cash in because I’m telling you right now that my PIN is 2112.

1. P.J. Harvey, Let England Shake (Island): One thing I love that critics do is always refer to this artist as Polly Jean Harvey on first reference, even though the artist herself does not. And every album she’s ever released has been hailed as one of that year’s best. This one won’t be released until February of next year, but I figure I should be bold in this undertaking and different from all the rest. Otherwise I wouldn’t be a good music critic.

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For Tom’s full Top 100, click here …

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