When you’re a blonde girl drinking in a bar, it is almost inevitable that you’re going to get hit on. After all, part of the “dumb blonde” stereotype is that you’re the life of the party, and also quite easy. The only problem is, due to the fact that the stereotype includes within it the stipulation of being dumb, the guys that approach are generally not the type that I would be interested in. Last Thursday was one of those cases. I ended up getting hit on by a guy that appeared to be a clone of The Situation, whose days probably consisted solely of going to the gym, tanning, and doing laundry. But I had a revelation. I was going to try to talk to him for a bit to see if he actually had a brain, or if all of his brain cells had already been lost to drinking too many Jagerbombs and Four Lokos. I used to do this as general practice, but most of the time my initial impressions were correct, and the guy really was only interested in looks and getting laid. Now I’m convinced everyone should disregard stereotypes on occasion, and try talking to someone you normally wouldn’t.
When going to the bar to meet a potential date, hookup, or new best friend, I completely understand how it may seem of tactical importance to use stereotypes to narrow down your choices since you are limited to what is essentially a three hour time span to choose someone to talk to and hopefully impress the pants off of (literally or figuratively, depending on what you’re looking for). However, using this practice can be very limiting, even if the stereotypes were always true.
Of course the stereotypes are not always true. As a blonde that doesn’t fit the mold of a typical “dumb blonde” I’m drawing on personal experience here. I’m sure there are other people who suffer from the same problems as I do. Do you really want to be known by other people’s superficial impression of you? Maybe you’re the white guy that is an amazing dancer? Maybe you’re a brunette with glasses who isn’t looking to talk about books? It can be frustrating when people rule you out based on stereotypes alone, and it is probably frustrating for others. Even if they did come talk to you based on their own stereotyping.
Say I was into cerebral babes that read the classics, watch foreign films, and work as librarians. First off, if my type was that specific, I don’t think the bar would be a good place to find anyone to begin with, and I might want to try hitting on librarians instead. But if guys would just be a little more flexible, the ones looking for a girl with a brain might try talking to all the girls they found attractive, not just ones with a certain hair color, or that are wearing glasses. Besides, it can be ascertained quite quickly whether or not the person you are talking to is capable of original thought, and if they seem like they aren’t, you can always move on to the next.
Using conversation to get to know someone ever-so-slightly before you completely rule them out may lead to meeting someone wonderful that you would have completely ignored using your general guidelines. Or maybe they end up introducing you to the person of your dreams. The worst thing that could possibly happen is you might end up wasting some time talking to someone that turns out to fit a stereotype you despise and you’re left without enough time to try to pick someone else up, but if you’re only looking to hookup anyways, just do a few more shots and you won’t care who it is. And if you are looking for more, you’ll have an excuse to go out again the next night.
On occasion, one of these The Situation clones will prove to be more than just a nice body. Last Thursday, I gave him a chance. He asked me if I was an alarm clock because I just got him up, then proceeded to knock my drink over into my lap. Obviously, he didn’t turn out to be one of the exceptions, but I’m still sticking with giving everyone a chance. Besides, he did offer to replace my drink.
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