I’m a man.
I eat steak and potatoes.
Cuss words don’t bother me.
I have watched videos of street fights for enjoyment.
He chews on things for enjoyment.
I have a chipped tooth.
I have hair on my chest.
I walk around with my shirt off.
He’s fluffy.
I have complained about the Sox.
I have received a straight razor shave.
I go to a barbershop.
He goes to the salon.
I am attracted to women. I am attracted to attractive women.
I pay for my date’s dinner.
I like smashing things.
He licks stuff.
I have ignited fireworks.
(Sometimes) I don’t buckle my seatbelt on airplanes.
I have clogged a toilet.
He has pooped on the carpet.
I have been punched in the face.
I have fired a gun.
I have peed in the woods.
He pees in the woods.
I can dunk a basketball.
I have hit a home run.
I own a car.
He has been hit by a car.
I get chills when I watch Rocky.
I have watched Fried Green Tomatoes without crying.
I flex in the mirror.
He barks at the mirror.
I have kicked down a door.
I have attended boxing lessons.
Flannel is my favorite material.
He’s my favorite dog.
I’m a man.
He’s a poodle.
I’m a man?
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