95.7 “The Cave”
Gotham City’s ONLY Source For Alternative Rock
To: On-air staff
Date: May 17, 2012
The numbers arrived last night. They were not what we’ve come to expect at The Cave. As such, meeting, today, 11:00 a.m., conference room. Prepare for a long one; the big boys will all be here. And, just so you’re aware of what’s going on:
Ratings went DOWN when Two-Face guest DJed for a week in February. How does that happen? I know his selection was a little unbalanced, but Jesus, I thought having him would put us over the top. To the good: his ratings peaked during afternoon rush hour on the 24th—when he whipped out a pistol and took turns flipping that coin of his for the lives of Boom Box, Stinky Rich, and Joon Bug. RIP Stinky Rich.
We pulled in a 0.11 during the big contest winner reveal in March. Zero. Point. Eleven. Unacceptable, kids. Embarrassing. We were giving away a Carnival Cruise to South America with Poison Ivy! I don’t see the other stations giving away prizes like that—except for when 103.5 gave away that old Batmobile. (Must be nice to be owned by Wayne Enterprises.) And so what if the Penguin threatened to blow up the building if we didn’t rig the drawing so he won? Bringing him in studio should have INCREASED ratings.
What’s really hurting our ratings is the Scarecrow’s podcast. Nobody even listens to the radio anymore. Last week’s episode with the Joker got 6 million downloads. It was actually a pretty good one. Did you guys listen? I thought the Joker was going to cut off the Scarecrow’s head when SC brought up the J-man’s dad. “Did he really give you those scars?” I got the goosebumps when he asked that!
What I mean is, that’s the kind of stuff we should be doing. Call the Joker again and see if he’ll come on the morning show. It can’t hurt. Speaking of the morning show…
Fellas (and lady), I’m going to be up front about this: The higher-ups are not happy. Mr. Freeze, in particular. I know he’s only been your boss for a month, but he’s bucking for another promotion. Don’t be surprised if he ice-blasts you at the meeting. He’s been ice-blasting a lot lately. More than usual. Bat Bitch, I know he really doesn’t like you, so heads up.
They’ll probably want to end the meeting on a positive note, so expect some talk about Gotham Rocks Out, which is July 5this year because Bane’s blowing up the baseball stadium on the Fourth. This is the first time we’ve worked with some of these bands, like, Riddle Me This Riddle Me That, Clayface and the Killer Crocs, and Robin. Robin is supposedly a diva, so beware.
Ideas: We should see if we could score a post-bomb interview with Bane! I’ll talk to the sound guys to see what they can do about his voice.
Alright, everyone. Please show up on time. No phones. No hats. No bat masks. It’s not going to be a fun one, but afterwards maybe we’ll order lunch from Mad Hatter’s.
See you at 11.
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