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I Interviewed Jewel While Taking A Dump (Cartel Excerpt), by Tom Dinard

29 Jul 2012

The following is an excerpt from Tom Dinard’s piece for the Summer, 2012 issue of Cartel, the FlipCollective e-magazine.

…

It’s a predictable day for San Francisco’s Lower Pacific Heights. Foggy. Cold.

It’s a predictable day for me, too. It’s high noon, and I don’t have to leave for work at the newspaper until 2:30, which means I won’t leave until about 3.

So I do what I always do: rip a few bong hits while watching Northern Exposure.

I congratulate myself on the productive day I’ve had so far. I summoned enough motivation to descend three flights of stairs and meander out onto Pacific Avenue. I turned right, ambled the length of two small apartment buildings, entered the deli owned by George, the Palestinian, and bought the same sandwich, chips and lemonade I buy every day. I went back to the apartment, laughed during the daily commercial for the personal-injury lawyer in which a woman starts a sentence by saying, “If you’re in a auto accident,” and did another bong hit.

It’s the spring of 1996 and I’m a 26-year-old journalist making $480 a week. This is my life, I’m thinking, and I’m pretty damned good at it.

But that thought is replaced by another in an instant as a bolt of heat shoots from one temple to the other.

I have to interview Jewel.

In one hour.

Fuck.

…

To get the rest, plus eleven more pieces of writing that will make you laugh and think and wonder, buy the magazine in Kindle or PDF format.

Want more information about Cartel? We have plenty.

 

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