The Morning After (GRAPHS), by Matt Shirley

16 Aug 2012

We all get it. The morning after is a nightmare. You’re stuck there, almost glued in some cases, and it doesn’t matter if you’ve known them for 1 or 100,000,000,000,000 hours, it’s always unpleasant.

There was drinking involved, so your head hurts. It’s hot as a 90-year old nutsack on a twelve hour bus ride, and all you really want to do is eat 16 Taco Bell burritos and break wind.

But you can’t. Because his dumb face is sitting there next to you, drooling on your Little Mermaid pillow and sleep murmuring something about smoking weed in a Arby’s bathroom with Winston Churchill and Jesus.

Or:

But you can’t. Because her dumb face is sitting there next to you, taking up so much of your bed that you’re considering burying her in the backyard.

It’s not a pretty sight. But while you think you might be alone, there are thousands of ladies (and gentleman) who are thinking and feeling exactly the same as you. Here are some of those thoughts and feelings.

First Thoughts Waking Up