Real-life Batman villain Donald Trump recently said that getting Mitt Romney elected President of the United States is at the top of his bucket list. I don’t usually distribute any rat’s asses when it comes to Trump’s political tomfoolery, but it is fun to picture him in silk pajamas sitting up in bed one night watching The Bucket List, and to be so inspired that he hopped out of bed to write his own things-to-do-before-killing-myself list.
But what else is on Donald Trump’s bucket list? Here’s what an inside source* had to say:
Donald Trump’s Bucket List
1. Get Mitt elected president
2. Don’t bankrupt again
3. Stop smuggling cocaine
4. Host a television show where you fire people (+ copyright “You’re fired!”) and then bitch about the lack of jobs in America
5. Kill Bond–>take over the world
6. Marry Paris Hilton (why hasn’t this happened yet?)
7. Go to an open mic
8. Get head on Rushmore
9. Get head on Rushmore
10. Donate money to Locks of Love
11. Open moon casino
12. Find receipt for invincibility serum
13. Go skydiving (DON’T CONFUSE CASH BACKPACK FOR CHUTE!)
14. Lose virginity
15. Have sex with someone without paying
16. Learn harmonica
17. Bust Bernie Madoff out of prison
18. Host SNL
19. Pay back Lorne Michaels rest of money/blow job
20. Get tattoo (Monopoly metaphor?)
21. Start line of suits for pets
22. Try kale
23. Podcast with Rosie
24. Scoop up Omarosa after Michael Clarke Duncan dies
25. Get Jeb elected president
*Invisible Barack Obama broke into Trump’s office and snagged list
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