“Police Chief Quits, Leaving Just Dog in the Force.” –Newser headline, Sept. 27, 2012
-“Good evening, ma’am. I’m Officer Turbo. License and registration?”
-“Uh, yeah. Here you go…”
-“That’s fine. In my mouth there.”
-“Sorry about that U-turn. There was no traffic, so I figured—“
-“I’ll be right back. Just gonna fetch your records.”
-“Oh, OK.”
[Few minutes later]
-“Alright, Ms. Palmer, thank you for your patience. I’m writing you a ticket for—“
-“A ticket?! But it was an accident!”
-“Nothing I can do, ma’am. Major cutbacks at the precinct. No more warnings.”
-“Yeah, but I can’t afford a ticket right now. There’s gotta be something we can do…”
-“I’m sorry. There’s—“
-“I’ll give you a belly rub.”
-“Belly rub? Are you offering me a bribe?”
-“Yes…”
[Beat]
-“Bark yeah! Pull up under that overpass. I’ll follow. Here’s your license and registration. Oh man, my first bribe! Wait’ll my poker buddies hear about this.”
-“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.”
-“No, thank you! Say, do you have any pets?”
-“Just a cat.”
-“Step out of the car, please.”
-“Shit.”
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