This is an excerpt from “Dear Steve,” Mick Shaffer’s letter to the future boyfriend of his just-born daughter for Machine Wash Warm, the FlipCollective e-magazine[...]

This one’s for all the women out there.  And for all the men who pretend to be women.  And for all the clowns.  And for all the silent film actors.  And for all the mimes.  Especia[...]

Confession: I am late with this column because I’ve been participating in too many fantasy football drafts. Another confession: I love baths. Hell, I waste a lot of time doing thin[...]

mickshaffer I write 4 @paulthenshirley’s website, but spend most my time on Twitter. I make fun of it, but obviously think it’s really cool. #FAIL The previous paragraph is a summa[...]

We are gathered here today to celebrate the life and the strife of the Ford Taurus.  A life cut short by too few oil changes and some other stuff. This isn’t the annihilation of th[...]

It’s been two days since this year’s lake encounter came to an end and I can still smell her on my skin. It could be the lake I smell or it could be the shitty little mustache righ[...]

They say that the game of poker is hours of boredom interrupted my moments of terror.  Well, this is my terror. Granted, it’s a $20 tournament in my friend’s basement on a Monday n[...]

What’s that sound?  Is the vacuum cleaner having sex with the garage door? Is every llama in the world being slaughtered in my backyard? Could that be a moped gang riding to a comm[...]

Bam!  The gun went off.  (I apologize that “Bam!” is the only word I can think of to literarily describe the thrusting of a bullet through a gun barrel.) And, knowing the locale, t[...]

Dream:  “Yes, I know you are 33 years old, but lots of people are allowed to go back and replay their high school senior basketball seasons.  Only this time you’ll be playing with [...]