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	<title>FlipCollective &#187; Mick Shaffer</title>
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		<title>Hi, I&#8217;m Mick, And I&#8217;m A Maybelline Girl, by Mick Shaffer</title>
		<link>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/09/09/hi-im-mick-and-im-a-maybelline-girl-by-mick-shaffer/</link>
		<comments>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/09/09/hi-im-mick-and-im-a-maybelline-girl-by-mick-shaffer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Sep 2010 14:50:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pshirley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mick Shaffer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bronzer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[foundation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[makeup]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.flipcollective.com/?p=1902</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This one’s for all the women out there.  And for all the men who pretend to be women.  And for all the clowns.  And for all the silent film actors.  And for all the mimes.  Especially for all the mimes. This one is for all the people who slap on a bitchin’ coat of foundation, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/09/09/hi-im-mick-and-im-a-maybelline-girl-by-mick-shaffer/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Fantasy Island, by Mick Shaffer</title>
		<link>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/08/26/fantasy-island-by-mick-shaffer/</link>
		<comments>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/08/26/fantasy-island-by-mick-shaffer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 26 Aug 2010 15:11:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pshirley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mick Shaffer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fantasy football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[plaxico burress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tom brady]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.flipcollective.com/?p=1817</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Confession: I am late with this column because I’ve been participating in too many fantasy football drafts. Another confession: I love baths. Hell, I waste a lot of time doing things that shouldn’t take up so much of my time.  I could’ve learned to play piano in the time I spent on Twitter the past [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/08/26/fantasy-island-by-mick-shaffer/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>11</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Twitterpated, by Mick Shaffer</title>
		<link>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/08/19/twitterpated-by-mick-shaffer/</link>
		<comments>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/08/19/twitterpated-by-mick-shaffer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Aug 2010 16:54:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pshirley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mick Shaffer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bieber]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hashtags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[twitter]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.flipcollective.com/?p=1796</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[mickshaffer I write 4 @paulthenshirley’s website, but spend most my time on Twitter. I make fun of it, but obviously think it’s really cool. #FAIL The previous paragraph is a summary of the following column in Twitter-friendly verse, which is under 140 characters.  I left this particular tweet at 134 characters to allow room for [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/08/19/twitterpated-by-mick-shaffer/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>9</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Ford Taurus, 2001-2010, by Mick Shaffer</title>
		<link>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/08/11/ford-taurus-2001-2010-by-mick-shaffer/</link>
		<comments>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/08/11/ford-taurus-2001-2010-by-mick-shaffer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Aug 2010 17:08:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pshirley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mick Shaffer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ford taurus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[middle class]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[obituary]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.flipcollective.com/?p=1703</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We are gathered here today to celebrate the life and the strife of the Ford Taurus.  A life cut short by too few oil changes and some other stuff. This isn’t the annihilation of the entire race of Tauri, like the Taurus genocide of 2006.  No, this is but one P.O.S. Taurus &#8211; formerly possessed [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Lake, by Mick Shaffer</title>
		<link>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/07/21/the-lake-by-mick-shaffer/</link>
		<comments>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/07/21/the-lake-by-mick-shaffer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Jul 2010 14:51:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pshirley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mick Shaffer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[paddle fish]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the lake]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.flipcollective.com/?p=1623</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It’s been two days since this year’s lake encounter came to an end and I can still smell her on my skin. It could be the lake I smell or it could be the shitty little mustache right below my nose that’s resulted from not shaving for 10 days. The two cuts on my fingers [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/07/21/the-lake-by-mick-shaffer/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>9</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>He Had Jack-10, by Mick Shaffer</title>
		<link>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/07/01/he-had-jack-10-by-mick-shaffer/</link>
		<comments>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/07/01/he-had-jack-10-by-mick-shaffer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 01 Jul 2010 16:09:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pshirley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mick Shaffer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jack-ten]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[poker]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.flipcollective.com/?p=1532</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[They say that the game of poker is hours of boredom interrupted my moments of terror.  Well, this is my terror. Granted, it’s a $20 tournament in my friend’s basement on a Monday night, but I’ve had more beers than pots won tonight so I need this.  Plus, I have no idea what to do.  [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/07/01/he-had-jack-10-by-mick-shaffer/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Gee Thanks, Soccer, by Mick Shaffer</title>
		<link>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/06/16/gee-thanks-soccer-by-mick-shaffer/</link>
		<comments>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/06/16/gee-thanks-soccer-by-mick-shaffer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Jun 2010 13:47:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pshirley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mick Shaffer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[soccer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[u.s. soccer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[world cup]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.flipcollective.com/?p=1461</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What’s that sound?  Is the vacuum cleaner having sex with the garage door? Is every llama in the world being slaughtered in my backyard? Could that be a moped gang riding to a common, holy location like motorcycle gangs flock to Sturgis, SD, only this would be a moped gang meaning it would rally to [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/06/16/gee-thanks-soccer-by-mick-shaffer/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>13</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Barbara&#8217;s Bathhouse, by Mick Shaffer</title>
		<link>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/06/09/barbaras-bathhouse-by-mick-shaffer/</link>
		<comments>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/06/09/barbaras-bathhouse-by-mick-shaffer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Jun 2010 13:54:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pshirley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mick Shaffer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[atvs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[caldwell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[races]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.flipcollective.com/?p=1425</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Bam!  The gun went off.  (I apologize that “Bam!” is the only word I can think of to literarily describe the thrusting of a bullet through a gun barrel.) And, knowing the locale, there existed about a 74% chance it was a loaded gun and not some pansy blank starting off this epic land race.  [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/06/09/barbaras-bathhouse-by-mick-shaffer/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A Day, by Mick Shaffer</title>
		<link>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/05/26/a-day-by-mick-shaffer/</link>
		<comments>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/05/26/a-day-by-mick-shaffer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 26 May 2010 18:43:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pshirley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mick Shaffer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[day in the life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[metro sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mick shaffer]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.flipcollective.com/?p=1355</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dream:  “Yes, I know you are 33 years old, but lots of people are allowed to go back and replay their high school senior basketball seasons.  Only this time you’ll be playing with potatoes, the other team is comprised of forest creatures, and if you try to hustle, it will feel like you’re running underwater.  [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/05/26/a-day-by-mick-shaffer/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>16</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Fletch, Or, The Greatest Movie Ever Made, by Mick Shaffer</title>
		<link>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/05/19/fletch-or-the-greatest-movie-ever-made-by-mick-shaffer/</link>
		<comments>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/05/19/fletch-or-the-greatest-movie-ever-made-by-mick-shaffer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 May 2010 15:54:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pshirley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mick Shaffer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chevy chase]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fletch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[movies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.flipcollective.com/?p=1313</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There are plenty of arguments out there that are easy to make, like, “Handicapped stalls are where it’s at,” or, “The chicks from Hanson make horrible songs,” or, “Beef jerky should be in the ‘part of your complete breakfast’ picture on all cereal boxes.” But a real writer dares tackle the arguments that are difficult [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.flipcollective.com/2010/05/19/fletch-or-the-greatest-movie-ever-made-by-mick-shaffer/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>20</slash:comments>
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