Mick Shaffer Archive

• 13May 13, 2010

  Cat Murder, by Mick Shaffer

  I’ve got you now, you son of a bitch.  Yes, I know you’re a cat and that the “bitch” term—when...

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• 10May 5, 2010

  Eating Sh*tty, by Mick Shaffer

  Announcer:  The Food Network and Frisbie’s Jumbo Honey Buns present Eating Shitty with Clay Pillowbiter.  On tonight’s show, Mick Shaffer...

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• 4April 28, 2010

  Nipple Run, by Mick Shaffer

  To be honest, I was most worried about my nipples bleeding. I can’t think of anything worse. Wait, who am...

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• 5April 22, 2010

  I Think I Tore My Rotator Cuff Patting Myself On The Back, by Mick Shaffer

  This week on the Flip, as those of us who love our website have come to call it, each writer...

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• 3April 7, 2010

  The HeartBreak Kid, by Mick Shaffer

  Shawn, just roll over on top of him.  Hurry.  You’re wasting valuable seconds here.  You’ve somehow felled a 6’10”, 300...

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• 7March 24, 2010

  Look Who’s Typing, by Mick Shaffer

  I better first tell you who I am.  I don’t wanna get in too much trouble.  My name is Aidan...

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• 6March 17, 2010

  64 Ways For 64 Games, by Mick Shaffer

  There are 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 ways to fill out an NCAA Tournament Bracket.  You’re not going to get it right.  You have...

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• 16March 10, 2010

  Church In A Hat, by Mick Shaffer

  I believe in God. I believe in the Bible.  Minus the crazy Old Testament verses telling you to stone everybody....

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• 9March 3, 2010

  Let’s All Go Bloody Curling, by Mick Shaffer

  Man, am I a sucker for the Olympics.  Whatever season, whatever sport, whatever underdeveloped country is getting plunger-raped behind the...

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• 8February 24, 2010

  Valentine’s Day Massacre, by Mick Shaffer

  God, I hope my wife doesn’t read these posts.  I hope she takes about as much interest in this part...

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