Hank Layton
In an alternate universe, you are Hank Layton. In this one, though, Hank is a writer from Kansas City who earned a bachelor's degree in English from the University of Saint Mary and spends too much time on Twitter.
He tries to be funny. Please oblige him.
Contact Hank
Twitter
Facebook
Email
More Hank
People Who Don't Draw Something
Past Work
Here is my review of Comedown Machine, the latest album from The Strokes: What? ** Here is my track-by-track breakdown of the album: 1. “Tap Out” – What? 2[...]
“Alright, sir, please describe the assailant’s face, and I’ll make a sketch of him.” “First off, it was a woman.” “Oh, OK. What kind of hair did she have?” “A man’s haircut, coinci[...]
14 Mar 2013
“In America you have a right to be stupid – if you want to be.” - U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, February 26, 2013 [...]
The first candy heart rests on her phone: GOOD MORNING, GORGEOUS Another one greets her at the bathroom sink: HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY The next one sits on her dresser: I LOVE YOU She[...]
“Thank you all for attending Puppy Bowl Media Day. This is our ninth year of fur-ious competition, and we’re excited to have you here to cover it. Please turn off all cell phones, [...]
31 Jan 2013
On February 1, the ever-veiny Sylvester Stallone returns to theaters in the police revenge actioner Bullet to the Head. The film doesn’t come out for another two weeks, but moviego[...]
17 Jan 2013
“Police Chief Quits, Leaving Just Dog in the Force.” –Newser headline, Sept. 27, 2012 -“Good evening, ma’am. I’m Officer Turbo. License and registration?” -“Uh, yeah. Here y[...]
25 Oct 2012
The following is an excerpt from Hank Layton’s piece for Cartel III (Fall, 2012), which can be purchased for $2.99 as an Amazon Kindle e-book or as a PDF. *** When it comes t[...]
This week marked the 50th anniversary of James Bond, and MGM is commemorating the event by releasing a special edition DVD and Blu-Ray box set of every 007 film. MGM even updated t[...]
Real-life Batman villain Donald Trump recently said that getting Mitt Romney elected President of the United States is at the top of his bucket list. I don’t usually distribute any[...]
06 Sep 2012
The following poem was inspired by Rosie O’Donnell’s “my heart attack.” (Editor’s Note: It will make significantly more sense if you first follow that link.) &n[...]
23 Aug 2012
The 2012 Olympics are almost over, so it’s time to stop betting on amusing pastimes like water polo and judo and set our degenerate eyes on some real sports like golf and darts. So[...]
09 Aug 2012